So the other day I wrote a post on my Facebook page, about a certain pet peeve of mine. That would be “old hats” of the military life giving “newbies” a hard time.
What I am referring to is, when a new spouse is dealing with her very first Deployment or Exercise, and is emotional about it, because they haven’t been away from their spouse, before. Sometimes there is that one person that will comment on a post who happens to be a “old hat”, and basically tells the new spouse to “suck it up, and get over it”. Here is my thing about this…. That “old hat” was once a newbie too. And I bet you she received better advice than just “suck it up”. I think we as spouses, should be helping each other out, by being sympathetic instead of catty, bitchy, obtuse, and just being a damn twat with one another. This life that we chose, is a hard life, and we could all benefit from a shoulder to cry on, or a sounding board to which we can vent to.
We join Facebook groups, or our local Military resource centre, for support. Not to be torn apart by some ignorant and probably very unhappy, wife. That is most definitely uncool.
Something else that these “old hats” seem to forget; the definition of Deployment.
“Any time in which a Soldier is unable to sleep in their own bed, in their own house.” This also applies to Exercises, and Courses, not just for over seas. And it really pisses me off, when one of the more “seasoned” spouses react to an emotional post with, ” it’s just an exercise/course. It’s not like they are going over seas”. Well guess what? It IS just as important as being deployed over seas. Without those Courses away from home, or those away exercises, our soldiers would not be able to do their jobs properly. They are being sent on an “in country” deployment, away from home. This is not only for them to get used to not being home, but is also a vital part of their training.
So my advice? Treat each, exercise/course as an over seas deployment. Start being kind to one another. Quite being miserable bitches to one another. We lead a very exclusive life style, one which “civvies” will never understand. We are each others support people, in a very exclusive club. So start being good to each other..
Offer to help with kids, so that the spouse can have a break, do a potluck “meet and greet”, to get to know your fellow spouses. Utilize the Resource centre!!
But most of all; please don’t demean other peoples experiences, just because you’ve been through it before.
To be perfectly blunt: DON’T be a twat. Nobody likes a twat. Nobody.